What is Standing Between Me and a New Way of Life?

To have lived in a world which briefly has had to step outside itself and onto unknown ground has become an eyeopener.

Any particular alignment of teaching or of monetary life conditions aren’t standing in the way of seeing that the ability and incentive to manage worldly things differently has been very much possible and this adaption to these harsh circumstances has taken flight in an extremely concentrated time span.

That which has been claimed to have been “the only way to manage things” is for a fact and most apparent not the “the only way”.

This ability within both individuals and society for adaption to a completely new way of life is causing a shudder through the human collective’s understanding, or rather misunderstanding, of our daily possibilities of running our and our children’s lives.

The apparent possibilities to be able to rearrange monetary flows has been carried out and therefor is possible. Redirecting the focus away from the destructive depleting of our planetary resources and being entangled in saying aye and amen to the current global system of allowing a vanishing few to dictate, even though these dictates are now obviously not inevitable strategies and what is “true” regarding what is possible and not possible of how to manage the flow of life on Earth. Neither can it be said that the path we have been on until the Covid-19 pandemic is how the definition of what path and which people are worthy of enjoyable and favourable life terms.


The factual possibility to redistribute for most people to get the prerequisites for better education, healthcare and housing is not rocket science but it is social science. And there are experts within these fields who can be put into work at creating outlines.

As this awful pandemic has shown us we as the human race have the expertise to redefine the run-of-the-mill daily routines of things.

So, what is standing between me and a new way of life?

Mainly, if I look at myself, the strongest traits keeping me back seem to be:

– Laziness.

– Unwillingness to step out from a routine where I know what is happening and what I’m supposed to do within that routine.

And last, but not least:

– A harmful combination of a lack of self-worth with a wavering inability to consistently set firm and healthy boundaries toward my own and other people’s destructiveness.

When I was 15 I made a poster montage with mixed images of war, a happy family huddling with big shiny smiles of white teeth, famine, a beautifully set garden picnic, dirty factories with too young workers and spacious offices in high rises with panoramic views – in the middle of the poster I stated a big, thick, black lettered WHY???

Rarely, but sometimes, I actually thank the young teenage me for the loathing I felt for all things causing societal disunity. I can only be thankful that this repulsiveness didn’t kill me – I refused to take part in this world and veered off into homelessness, addiction with alcohol as my drug of choice and making monetary ends meet mostly outside the perimeters of the law.

Thankfully for my child, my family and other people I harmed and would have continued to harm, I reached a rude bottom in 2006 and began to recover. Thanks to committing to a continuous and in-depth self inventory I have survived that 25 year long bash of self serving ruthlessness.

Thanks to addressing and working hard at understanding:
– my ruthlessness toward others as well as my own body and mind
– my refusal to comply to societal norms
– confronting and attempting at seeing, or rather mostly glimpsing, what triggered my ravaging self-destruction
I have compiled an outline showing that my sorrow and disconnectedness came from an undeveloped ability to experience connectedness.
By staying disconnected from most other human beings I allowed myself to disrespect everything remotely commonly humane other than possibly a vanishing few who had come to see the world as I did, or at least agreed with me. “No-one understands this better than me”-syndrom if you will.

The result of my subjective experience of isolation, a strong sense of elitism and apartness came from not having experienced connectivity with the people around me.
In my new way of life I have understood this is a very common result of setting oneself outside the rest of humanity. A sort of constructed survival component if you will – fueling myself to seem strong on my own without the healthy and sound support others. I created an elitist and “better than others” self image completely blind to the factual destructive results of my lifestyle and wasteful output into the world around me.

As a child I never got on track with savoring the responsibility of proper self-care and through that learning how to care for others as well. Today I can see the truth that lies in the saying “As one knows oneself one knows other people”. I can see myself in others today. Many ingredients are unique at the surface of others but on a deeper level I can see that many basic traits align. I am not alone or especially apart, not from anyone.
My false self image of being very special meant, in my dislocated “understanding” of my place in this world, that consideration for others, or myself for that matter, was not my responsibility.

Also, of course, I never made the connection about the importance of developing and setting up sound boundaries for what is acceptable and not acceptable behaviors for myself and others in this life. I never grew up to be a healthy human adult.

Coming out of my pollutive pattern in 2006 I had to begin a revision of my place in the world. The desire to belong had started with a tiny realisation of being unable to connect with my child. Then it grew to becoming a longing to be a part of humanity. This is a personal journey which is depicted in “I Only Wanted to Dance” and “Now the Dance has Begun”.
During this inner discovery I have slowly, slowly realized that the WHY??? on my teenage poster collage was in fact a conflict of trying to define true responsibility that raged within me. True adult responsibility is an extremely important part of life as a grown up.
Suddenly, as I looked within, into my micro-verse, it became clear that I was the one who had destroyed, ravaged and done my uttermost to deplete the wonder and abundance of this magnificent temple which is my body (a wondrous creation isn’t it!).
In reality it struck me that I had done exactly what I had reacted with hatred and contempt toward in my youth. My loathing against the “sheep and rulers” of the “outside-of-myself” disruptive, corrupt and despicable macro-verse being allowed to rampage on the global scale was an exxact mirror of my own behavior.

An eyeopener which means that I need to be aware of my inclination for depletion, just as my ancestors cutting down trees since the beginning of time with no thought to replantation. I woke up to practicing at developing responsibility as an adult – regarding both my micro universe within, thoughts and physical self care, as well as what I allow and accept in the world I live in.

I cannot be a King Baby and be allowed to run wild creating pollution and destruction, can I?

That is not acceptable!

Now that I’ve begun taking responsibility to the best of my ability depending on my daily state of mind I can no longer stand idly by and allow myself or other King Baby’s to run wild and idly accept “depleting behaviors”. I need to give something back to be able to receive.

Being responsible for my own actions also gives me authority to ask the same of others. It also gives me true self-worth which is relevant to see through dysfunctional behavior and idle allowance of dis-rule.

Removing the plank from my own eye, so to speak. And this plank is in the process of being removed on a daily basis – there is no chance of me ever becoming anything close to perfect. But I do work hard at bettering myself and taking responsible action.

This “plank” of egocentrism is what stands, and has always stood, between me and developing a new way of living. Always. But when I do begin to improve myself I also earn the right to set my foot down about what kind of world I want to pass on to coming generations.

This isn’t rocket science!

To always have the knowledge that I am a destructive character at heart opens up to the possibility of behaving differently. To accept the reality of my human nature.

To always have the knowledge that I am a destructive character at heart opens up to the possibility of behaving differently. To accept the reality of my human nature.
I can never convince myself that I am better than anyone else because I know the destruction and selfishness that I am capable of! But the willingness to improve, to better and develop my output into my world is my right, an obligation and my most important career choice!

Satisfaction from doing meaningful things, I mean things not related to the me, me, me and mine of repeatedly chasing goals within destructive patterns, but truly meaningful and even selfless actions, have had an unexpected impact on my maturing into proper adulthood.

How can the definition of beneficial human adulthood be redefined?
How can boundaries be set for destructive and selfish motives by truly adult beings of the human race?
Is the time now for growing an adult backbone? For learning to set consequent and healthy boundaries to end the ravaging of our and all future generations humans and other life on Earth? For securing a world with access to abundance and riches?

Is the time now to look inside and start growing up?
Telling the bullies in the yard to back down and do the same.
Yes, I think it is time!

#RedefineWealth #RedefineProsperity #RedefineSuccess
#RedefineAdministration #WearAndTear #abundance #BelieveTheScience #ahairsbreadth #aleapbeyondchance

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